What My Kids Are Teaching Me

Growing up there were so many things that I thought I would certainly be teaching to my children. I started babysitting when I was 11 years old, and continued until I was probably 21 or so. From those experiences, I thought I had a pretty good handle on how to teach stuff to kids. All those important life lessons like, how to share, how to be kind, staying calm when you are upset by something, that eating your vegetables is good for you, too much sugar is bad for you, etc, etc. With all this experience that I had, I was sure to be a fantastic mother one day. And I was told so by many people actually, that I was going to be great at it. Well, actual motherhood was a rude awakening.

It is one thing to teach a couple of kids who have been fed, and been taken care of by their parents until I showed up, how to share. It's an entirely new animal when I am the parent that is feeding and taking care of the kids all.day.long. What I didn't know as a teenager is that there must have been a lot of effort put in by those parents to teach their child all the blessed lessons of life during those hours before I arrived to handle things. What I did was simply remind them that those lessons were supposed to be called upon in every situation, and all day long, to know how to behave well. The only thing that I perhaps taught those kids is that the lessons their parents taught them, apply to every person and in every scenario. As someone who ultimately had very little authority, I think it was helpful for the children to see that what they were being taught at home wasn't just some whack idea that only their parents adhered to. That actually, these lessons were part of learning to function well in our society. But that's not what this post is about, really.

What I meant to say was that when I became a mother, and for about 18 months after said event, I thought I was going to have an easy time of it. How hard is it, really, to play with a baby, feed her, change her diaper, bathe her, read her a book, and put her to bed with a kiss, "goodnight?" Don't get me wrong, I know that motherhood is physically demanding from the start. You never get to sleep the way you used to. Every task, no matter how minuscule and insignificant, takes at least twice as long. Privacy no longer has meaning in your life. And every aspect of life that used to revolve around oneself, now revolves around a nonverbal human being demanding everything from you with a reach of her hand, and perhaps a grunt, whimper, or a full on scream. Still, even with that brief insight into early motherhood, let me say that once you have to be mentally active in teaching a child, it becomes quite a bit more difficult. It did for me at least. Maybe some of you are just natural at all these things, but as a lot of these lessons revolve around the embodiment of the fruits of the Spirit, I will venture to guess that we all have a lot to (re)learn when teaching our children.

Here's what I mean, and here's what I've become aware of (again) about teaching my children. When I tell Audrey that she needs to chill out because Asher didn't mean to knock over her tower of blocks, I must provide the example. The harsh (and maybe too honest) truth is, she probably learned to have that reaction from....ME! Holy crap, what am I teaching my children? I know she didn't get it from my husband because he doesn't ever get angry about anything, not kidding. The man is incredibly level headed. It is already difficult enough to teach my children using my words. How much more difficult will it be to teach my children if my actions consistently contradict what I am teaching them? I wish that old adage, "Do as I say, not as I do," had more weight in reality. We laugh at it, but I wish I could say that, instead of having to learn these difficult lessons right along with them.

What I hope they see in my flaws, is that we all need the redemption of our Heavenly Father. We will all struggle throughout ours lives, maybe not with the same issues, but with something. But through those struggles, we are supposed to turn to Christ, seek His wisdom, and his forgiveness. After we've done that, we are to strive to become more Christ-like. We don't just give up trying to be better at life, we keep on the good fight, we run the race, and we keep our eyes on the Kingdom of God.