My Greatest Responsibility

All of us adults have responsibilities, right? As a parent, we have many more added to the list. (In an effort to not write a novel, I won't list all the responsibilities that I can think of right now.) As a stay at home mom, my first and most important responsibility is raising my children. There is a whole subset of responsibilities that fall under the broader, "Raise My Kids" title. For me, I have rarely sat down to think about which ones I feel are most important. Surely, some of you do on a regular basis, think about which responsibilities are most important and deserve the most attention. Those of you who love lists and operate well from them, surely you have thought about the ultimate goal in raising your children. But I, who is very spontaneous, often forget how helpful lists can be. Maybe I should write one, or even make it an art piece somewhere in my home so that I see it every day and am reminded of my ultimate goal.

So, what is the ultimate goal? This might be, and probably is different for everyone. Certainly I have come up with different answers in the nearly five years since becoming a mama. There is one however, that I think trumps all the others. No matter who you are, this one thing should be the most important. And I know not everyone will agree with this because we're not all of the same creed. But this is what I believe. 

After absolutely sobbing my eyes out twice while perusing Facebook this afternoon, I have landed on the single most important thing I can teach my kids. Why was I crying? Well, I read a couple of different stories about children dying. One was a baby who struggled to live for several months, but finally lost the battle to survive. The other was a pair of teenage sisters who died suddenly in a car accident. Two very different stories, but every bit as heart-wrenching  and tragic. I cannot imagine losing one of my children. I just absolutely can not fathom the heart ache. The anguish. The hopelessness. How does one move on from that? I have friends who have lost a child, and I honestly don't know what to say about that. Except that I know where that child is, and that truth alone, offers a glimmer of joy and peace. This brings me to the most important goal I have in raising my children. Because after every other goal is met and accomplished (I hope!) or even if I've failed in some areas, there is one that stands above them all.  Some responsibilities that are fully met, may be helpful for the duration of the lives of my children while they're here on Earth. But There is one, that if met, will be helpful for the rest of eternity. 

If I fail at everything else as a mother, I pray to God that my children will find, and know Jesus. That their faith would be pure and whole and true. That beyond any shadow of a doubt, they (and I) would know that there is a place reserved for them up in God's Holy Kingdom once their time on Earth is done. 

The truth is, God could call His children home at any time. We may have a time to grieve with our child, as in the case of the wee babe, or it may be sudden, like the sisters. Either way, we're not in control of that. Really, we're not in control of their salvation either. Certainly God has not laid the responsibility squarely on the shoulders of parents, but God does call us to teach our children about Him, and to raise them to know Him. 

There is an abundance of debate on the age at which children are held responsible for their sins. Well, I don't really care to debate that. It's not my point. My point is, I need to make sure I am teaching my children about Jesus. This includes reading the Bible with them, praying with them, teaching them specific stories and lessons from God's word. Most importantly, I think, it includes showing them what it means to live in and for Christ. Talk about a huge responsibility. It begs the question, am I living fully in Christ? If not, I better start. 

Heavenly Father, thank you for the wonderful blessings of my dear wee babes. You know my heart and  you know how much love it contains for these little ones. Lord, I know that ultimately, they are yours. I know that they are simply "on loan" to me, and will be used for your greater purpose here on Earth. I ask, God, that you would fill my cup with your love, kindness, goodness, gentleness, patience, peace, joy, self-control and hope. Fill it up, Lord, until it overflows onto my children. I pray that through me, and others, they would see you glorious love and grace, and that they would yearn to know you. Soften their hearts towards your truth. May I be a guide for them when they're young, to see what you are like. And when they get older, please God, may they seek You personally. I don't know how much longer I have with them, but please help me to remember my promise to teach them who You are. I pray for all of these things for Your glory, and in Jesus' name. Amen.

PS - If you're reading this, and you don't have faith in Jesus, that's okay. Out of love, I pray that you do find Him. But if you're not there yet, I hope that you at least see the love I have for my children. 

People are People

I've been thinking about this post for a while, but I was worried that some people will be offended. Then I decided, it was worth it. This blog is a way for me to put my thoughts down in writing, and thus get them off my chest. Writing things down has a way of helping me feel more peaceful about things, and it helps me to stop thinking about it all the time. Personally, I don't think there is anything too offensive about what I have been thinking, but you never know. No offense is intended, so hopefully it won't come to that.

Maybe this is something that "grown-ups" already know, but I have only recently come to this realization. People are people no matter where they are. We are fallible, we make mistakes, we have strange personalities, and we need Jesus.

When I was serving active duty in the Air Force, I recognized that many civilians expected much more of me when I was in uniform. (To be fair, the AF also expects a certain standard of conduct when one is in uniform.) But at the end of the day, when the uniform comes off, we are all just regular people. Some service members  don't see it that way, but I will tell you, most of the ones I worked with DO. If we held ourselves to a certain standard while in uniform, half the stuff I witnessed (and participated in) would not have happened. It wouldn't have even been a thought. I am not trying to "reveal" anything about the true military life, I am just trying to say, we're not some special breed of human that somehow is above reproach. We were regular people before the military trained us. And while we are (mostly) highly skilled in our job set, we are still just people.

The same goes for all of those that we hold in a higher esteem. Church staff and evangelists, teachers, politicians (HA!), celebrities (including famous athletes), law enforcement, even our parents are just people.

So why do we expect more of these individuals? Because they're people that we're supposed to be able to look up to, maybe? These are people that we can strive to become when we're little. They hold respectable positions in society, doing respectable things. And our faith in humanity is crushed when we're let down by one of these people.

The recent death due to drug overdose of a beloved actor throws us for a loop. The infidelity of a respected church member can have us accusing the entire Church of being hypocritical. The rape of a service member by another service member has us calling for more protective laws and discipline of the military. We wonder how something like this could happen, not realizing that no matter who you are, there are temptations and struggles. Even with a strong support system, the temptation can be too great to defeat.

The truth is, as long as we're putting our faith in humanity, our trust in society, we're going to be let down. Certainly we should still hold people to a standard, but we need to recognize that people are just people no matter where they are. And people have a tendency toward sin. I know that I have a tendency toward sin. There are things that I have done that I am not proud of, and even ashamed of. I've let myself down!

The good news is that there is another place in which to put our trust, a better place. Maybe I should say person. God is always faithful, always true, always just, always loving. He is the one in which we should always look to in order to restore our joy and our hope. We may not always understand why things happen, and God doesn't always give us an answer right away. But we can trust that He loves us and orchestrates life to work out for the best for those who love Him. God's promises are great, and He is faithful to fulfill them, no matter who has let us down and no matter how many times we let Him down. He alone is to be highly esteemed, and He won't disappoint.

This post is not in any way meant to demean people or make us feel badly about ourselves. It's simply a wordy expression of my experience in learning to put all of my trust in Jesus, and not to fret too much when I or others falter. I love people and there are certainly those whom I respect. I do believe that if you know someone who is in a bad way, God calls us to help in any way that we can. It may hurt, and it may be difficult, but Jesus is our strength. He will fill us all the way up, until we're overflowing with His love. At that point, we are able to love more deeply and more purely, even when it's hard. When we allow Christ to dwell within us, we are better equipped to handle the tragedies that a sinful world must face.