Heaven has been on my mind lately. Not in a morbid, "I can't wait to get there!" sort of way. Just in a curious way.
Recently, I heard a sermon talking about how we will be workers when we get to heaven. The idea sounds heinous at first, but I listened to the whole sermon with an open heart. One point that makes it not such a horrific lesson is that I believe God made us with the desire to work. So when we're in heaven, we will have such joy in our work, we will actually be, well, joyful about working! And you know how as humans, we look for fulfillment in our work, and all too often we don't find it? Well, that will not be an issue in heaven.
It's interesting to me how here on Earth, we all feel like there was a certain job that we were created to do. And we strive to build our lives around that. Perhaps we were created for a particular job. Certainly there are those of us who were "called" to whatever they're doing. But I would venture to guess that the majority of us just follow our interests. Even if that interest is solely in earning money to make living, we pursue whatever career will fulfill that interest. However, even when we've reached that goal of career fulfillment, there is always something missing. And on the occasion, we get tired, worn down, fed up and just done. So how is it again that I am supposed to look forward to working in heaven?
For one thing, we will be utterly fulfilled in heaven. There won't be any jealousy, or envy in the workplace in heaven. We won't have the urge to "keep up with the Jones'." We won't be working to pay the bills, or save money for this or that. We will know, beyond the shadow of a doubt, that we are doing exactly what we were created to do. How will we know? We will simply be working to glorify God, which is truly what we were created for in the first place.
So often I feel like what I do isn't where I want to be and isn't really what I was created for. I get caught up in the idea that I should have a career by now, instead of being a stay at home mom. I should be done with college and helping mamas bring their precious little ones into this world. I should be established in my career, and be called upon to do my job because nobody else does my job better than I do. People should look up to me and think highly of me. I should be making money. Oh, and I should be glorifying Jesus while I am at all of these other "shoulds."
Then I am reminded that what I am doing today, is exactly what God wants me to be doing. Glorifying God is the first reason to do any kind of work. Right now, I am nourishing His children that he has granted me guard over. When I love my children, I am storing up treasures in heaven. Because by the grace of God, they will be one of those treasures. And when I think about that, then suddenly, the treasures that I seek after here on Earth, seem so silly. I don't need to prove myself to my peers, I don't need to look for fulfillment in anyone or anything else.When I am heaven-minded, I am glorifying God. I am fulfilled. There is no magic job that is going to make me excited to work all of the time. But when I remember why I work, why I do what I do, I should be happy to step up.
Being a stay at home isn't going to get me any trophies or accolades. I certainly won't be "well known" or "well to-do." But right now, I am doing to most important job I could be, and that is something. Surely I should strive to do the best I can at it, even on those days that I am tired, worn-down and fed-up. Who knows what I will be doing for a job when I am in heaven, but I don't have to wait until I get there to find fulfillment in my work. I just have to remember who I work for, and why.
08 February 2013
06 February 2013
Quiet times and Sanity
My third child was born this past December, and for almost the first month of his life, our family was able to adjust to this new addition with the help of my husband. He spent a year saving up all of his vacation time, and spent it almost all of it at one once when baby arrived. I cannot express how thankful I am to him for staying home with us. That times was precious and desperately needed. It afforded us the opportunity to not only get used to being a family of five, but to also introduce our baby to my family in California. On the whole, I think we had done a fairly good job at adjusting to this "new" life. Nevertheless, the first week my husband was back at work was terrifying for me.
I had this notion that if I didn't keep on top of every single chore, I would surely drown. So I made myself wake up before my older two children. This was rather easy because my husband leaves for work around 6:30 a.m. and I am a terribly light sleeper. Not to mention, my newborn requires some nourishment fairly early in the morning as well. So by 7 a.m. I am out of bed and begin my morning routine. It has occurred to me since starting this ritual, that routines aren't just for children, they're helpful for adults, as well.
The routine actual starts the evening before when I prepare the coffee pot. All I have to do in the morning is groggily push the "on" button and wait for the nectar to brew. While it's brewing, I put some toast in the toaster, drink a glass of water, and choose my starbucks mug of the day. (I have more than 30 Starbucks mugs which I have been collecting for about 7 years. I enjoy choosing a mug to reflect my mood that morning.) By the time my toast is buttered, the coffee is ready to be poured. My breakfast comes with me to my favorite room in the house. I think of it as a multipurpose/family room, but my husband likes to call it the "den." Maybe it's a guy thing. Anyway, I bring my coffee, my toast, my devotional and my Bible to the den with me. While I eat and drink, I pray, read and reflect.
It's such a peaceful time in the morning before the chaos of a 4 year old and nearly 2 year old invades. Don't get me wrong, I love the chaos, and I love my children. But this mama has benefited from having my own routine without the children to distract me. There have been a few days that I have decided to sleep in instead of getting up early. Every single one of those days has been more challenging than when I pull myself out of bed early. When I have my own time with God, and a cup of coffee, I am much more patient, kind, and loving throughout the day, than when I neglect the routine. Truth be told, I am also quite a bit more involved. What I mean is, instead of just watching my children play, I join in the fun more readily. I know my kids relish this time, as do I, and I hope that they remember these days better than the lazy ones during which I am more prone to simply observe.
And those chores I mentioned, well, I am actually better able to tackle those as well. I will say, by the end of the day, I am more than ready for bed. However, not surprisingly, going to bed by 9:30 makes it all the easier to wake up by 7. All that to say, these quiet times, and my new-found routine, has done it's part to maintain my sanity.
I had this notion that if I didn't keep on top of every single chore, I would surely drown. So I made myself wake up before my older two children. This was rather easy because my husband leaves for work around 6:30 a.m. and I am a terribly light sleeper. Not to mention, my newborn requires some nourishment fairly early in the morning as well. So by 7 a.m. I am out of bed and begin my morning routine. It has occurred to me since starting this ritual, that routines aren't just for children, they're helpful for adults, as well.
The routine actual starts the evening before when I prepare the coffee pot. All I have to do in the morning is groggily push the "on" button and wait for the nectar to brew. While it's brewing, I put some toast in the toaster, drink a glass of water, and choose my starbucks mug of the day. (I have more than 30 Starbucks mugs which I have been collecting for about 7 years. I enjoy choosing a mug to reflect my mood that morning.) By the time my toast is buttered, the coffee is ready to be poured. My breakfast comes with me to my favorite room in the house. I think of it as a multipurpose/family room, but my husband likes to call it the "den." Maybe it's a guy thing. Anyway, I bring my coffee, my toast, my devotional and my Bible to the den with me. While I eat and drink, I pray, read and reflect.
It's such a peaceful time in the morning before the chaos of a 4 year old and nearly 2 year old invades. Don't get me wrong, I love the chaos, and I love my children. But this mama has benefited from having my own routine without the children to distract me. There have been a few days that I have decided to sleep in instead of getting up early. Every single one of those days has been more challenging than when I pull myself out of bed early. When I have my own time with God, and a cup of coffee, I am much more patient, kind, and loving throughout the day, than when I neglect the routine. Truth be told, I am also quite a bit more involved. What I mean is, instead of just watching my children play, I join in the fun more readily. I know my kids relish this time, as do I, and I hope that they remember these days better than the lazy ones during which I am more prone to simply observe.
And those chores I mentioned, well, I am actually better able to tackle those as well. I will say, by the end of the day, I am more than ready for bed. However, not surprisingly, going to bed by 9:30 makes it all the easier to wake up by 7. All that to say, these quiet times, and my new-found routine, has done it's part to maintain my sanity.
02 February 2013
Motherhood
There is so much meaning behind this one word. I often wonder if I am doing "motherhood" correctly. It's not just that I have given birth to and am currently feeding, clothing, bathing and protecting three human beings. Motherhood is so much more involved than that.
I keep thinking about my children in the future. Will they be secure enough in my love for them, that they won't go looking for compensation somewhere else? And more importantly than that, will they be secure in Christ's love for them so that after all the times I fail, they will still not go looking for compensation?
Today I read a blog about children who are getting neglected because their parents are so "plugged in." The blogger called it "inattention neglect," I think. I began to ponder whether my kids have suffered because of my inattention. It didn't take long for me to come to the conclusion that yes, they have. Maybe not constantly or or even regularly, but there have been times that I tell my daughter to wait to ask me a question because I am responding to a text, or reading a post on Facebook. And when I nurse my newborn and should be reveling in in beauty, I am instead playing on my phone. Oh, that is SO wrong of me.
Sometimes I even try to justify it. I think, "I just need a quick break." Let's face it, being a full time mama is not always easy. There are moments when I truly do need a break. In fact, I have begun locking my bedroom door when I use the bathroom in my room, just to have a few minutes of privacy. But trying to find that break by texting or facebooking is just going to lead to frustration for my children and for myself.
So, how do I show my kids I love them in ways that are real to them? Of course I feed them. That is real, but that is also obligatory. Here are some ideas I have come up with. They are so simple, and probably everybody knows them. In the long run, though, they will pave the way to meaningful relationships in the future. And it starts with putting down the phone, closing the computer, and turning off the television.
1) Look at them when they are talking to me. (Not at the computer/phone/tv.)
2) Be excited with them when they accomplish something.
3) Show interest in whatever they're interested in at the moment. (My son brings me rocks from the backyard. They're treasures to him, and should be to me as well, at least for the moment.)
4) Ask about what they did during quiet time/Sunday school/at a friend's house/grandparents' house/school (when they get to that age.)
5) Don't underestimate physical affection. Hugs and kisses every time I get a chance.
6) Actually suggest an activity to do together.
7) Sit down together at the table for meals.
8) Read books and talk about the story together.
9) Talk to them about Christ and let them ask questions.
There is one common thread in all of these ideas. Togetherness. It cannot be overdone.
The problem is, I often feel such a burden to keep the house clean, get the bills paid, feed the pets, do the grocery shopping, etc. This burden weighs so heavily at times that I find myself running out of not just time, but energy. And what energy I do have left, is all-too-often directed at something other than my beautiful babies.
The cure for this is also simple though, maybe not always easy. I have to ask myself, "Am I doing the right things today, that will set us up for a good relationship in the future?" And, "Is it more important to have a clean house, or happy children?"And lastly, most importantly, "Can my children see God's love for them, through my caring for them?"
I know I will fail as I have always done. But if Jesus can take time out of His most important tasks to bless the children, then surely I can, too. After all, they won't remember that the house was never clean. What they will remember is that I took time to get to know them.
Jesus, please help me to stay focused on the Task at hand. It is by your will that I am a mother at all, and I pray that I am faithful with this work you have entrusted to me. Give me the strength to not just "get through" the day, but to embrace every moment with my children with all of my attention. When I am tired, fill me up. Let me seek you, and be renewed with energy and a passion for my children. I've heard that these years will go by quickly, so help me to treasure every moment, even when I feel overwhelmed. For even you beckoned the children to your side. Shine through my actions, my words, and my heart. And may they know who you are in spite of my weaknesses. Amen.
I keep thinking about my children in the future. Will they be secure enough in my love for them, that they won't go looking for compensation somewhere else? And more importantly than that, will they be secure in Christ's love for them so that after all the times I fail, they will still not go looking for compensation?
Today I read a blog about children who are getting neglected because their parents are so "plugged in." The blogger called it "inattention neglect," I think. I began to ponder whether my kids have suffered because of my inattention. It didn't take long for me to come to the conclusion that yes, they have. Maybe not constantly or or even regularly, but there have been times that I tell my daughter to wait to ask me a question because I am responding to a text, or reading a post on Facebook. And when I nurse my newborn and should be reveling in in beauty, I am instead playing on my phone. Oh, that is SO wrong of me.
Sometimes I even try to justify it. I think, "I just need a quick break." Let's face it, being a full time mama is not always easy. There are moments when I truly do need a break. In fact, I have begun locking my bedroom door when I use the bathroom in my room, just to have a few minutes of privacy. But trying to find that break by texting or facebooking is just going to lead to frustration for my children and for myself.
So, how do I show my kids I love them in ways that are real to them? Of course I feed them. That is real, but that is also obligatory. Here are some ideas I have come up with. They are so simple, and probably everybody knows them. In the long run, though, they will pave the way to meaningful relationships in the future. And it starts with putting down the phone, closing the computer, and turning off the television.
1) Look at them when they are talking to me. (Not at the computer/phone/tv.)
2) Be excited with them when they accomplish something.
3) Show interest in whatever they're interested in at the moment. (My son brings me rocks from the backyard. They're treasures to him, and should be to me as well, at least for the moment.)
4) Ask about what they did during quiet time/Sunday school/at a friend's house/grandparents' house/school (when they get to that age.)
5) Don't underestimate physical affection. Hugs and kisses every time I get a chance.
6) Actually suggest an activity to do together.
7) Sit down together at the table for meals.
8) Read books and talk about the story together.
9) Talk to them about Christ and let them ask questions.
There is one common thread in all of these ideas. Togetherness. It cannot be overdone.
The problem is, I often feel such a burden to keep the house clean, get the bills paid, feed the pets, do the grocery shopping, etc. This burden weighs so heavily at times that I find myself running out of not just time, but energy. And what energy I do have left, is all-too-often directed at something other than my beautiful babies.
The cure for this is also simple though, maybe not always easy. I have to ask myself, "Am I doing the right things today, that will set us up for a good relationship in the future?" And, "Is it more important to have a clean house, or happy children?"And lastly, most importantly, "Can my children see God's love for them, through my caring for them?"
I know I will fail as I have always done. But if Jesus can take time out of His most important tasks to bless the children, then surely I can, too. After all, they won't remember that the house was never clean. What they will remember is that I took time to get to know them.
Jesus, please help me to stay focused on the Task at hand. It is by your will that I am a mother at all, and I pray that I am faithful with this work you have entrusted to me. Give me the strength to not just "get through" the day, but to embrace every moment with my children with all of my attention. When I am tired, fill me up. Let me seek you, and be renewed with energy and a passion for my children. I've heard that these years will go by quickly, so help me to treasure every moment, even when I feel overwhelmed. For even you beckoned the children to your side. Shine through my actions, my words, and my heart. And may they know who you are in spite of my weaknesses. Amen.
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