Family

It's strange for me to think about the people that I call family. Of course, there is my dad, and my brother, and one step brother that I am still in contact with. As for the rest of those that I spent most of my childhood calling "family," well, I don't really know what they're up to. It's been 12 years since I have spoken to my step mom, and just as many, if not more, since I have spoken to her other two sons. I am not angry about this, I really think it was for the best. Part of me wishes I knew how they've ended up, though I know it's not really the end. I sincerely hope they're in better places in their lives, but I do not call these people family anymore. 

When I was just 14 years old, my then family had to move from our small three bedroom home. Time ran out for us to be gone, but we'd yet to find a place to live. My parents told us (my step brothers, myself, and my biological brother) that we needed to figure out where we were going to stay until they found some place. Thank God I was going to church. Thank God that one girl felt the need to speak to her parents about my situation. Thank God they were hospitable. Thank God, for them. 

It has been 14 years (literally half my life, haha!) since I started living with them. It was not permanent at first. I stayed with them for 10 days the first time. They must have sensed that I needed more, or they felt bad for me. My parents did find a place to live, but it was a two bedroom apartment in a shady part of town. Since there were more boys than girls, the boys got one bedroom, and my parents occupied the other. I was given two cubicle walls to block off the dining area as my "bedroom." When I look back at the 14 year old girl, I do feel bad for her. But I feel sort of disconnected from her, like she's not the younger version of me. Anyway, you can see why a family who had an available extra room, was willing to allow a girl who was sorely in need of a little privacy, stay at their house a couple days a week. 

In the interest of not writing a novel tonight, I will skip the details of how I became part of this new family. Suffice it to say, that we all bonded and now refer to each other as family. I have a new mom, and three sisters, plus their husbands and children. Like any family, there have been ups and downs, but always forgiveness, always love, and always Christ. We've gone through difficult things together and have shared joy in each others' joy. Even though I live in a different state than the rest of them, I know the bonds that God has allowed us to form, will not be broken. 

My mom and sister just drove through hell of Earth (almost literally) to come visit me for a few days. I was so blessed by them being here. They got to know my children a little bit more, be in my home, and see one of my favorite places, indeed, the only place near Tucson that makes it tolerable, Mt. Lemmon. The best part was how natural it was for them to be here. We immediately fell into our normal, comfortable, way of talking and just being with each other. How strange that this family I have had for just half of my life is so "normal" for me. Strange and yet, wonderful. Thank God that He allowed this to happen. 

My mom and sister left yesterday, and today I am definitely feeling the loss of not having them nearby. I am thankful that we are able to visit, but it just never feels like enough. Good gracious, do you hear what I am saying, people!?! I love my family, and today that seems to be rare. It's never my intent to brag about anything, but I feel it must be expressed how grateful I am for these people. I look forward to living out the rest of my life with the knowledge that God gifted me with an amazing psuedo-adoptive family. 

I love you!!!